Perhaps it is the subtle infusion of grace that calls me to be a better person than I am capable of being on my own. I re-read the previous post and, frankly, I am embarrassed and slightly ashamed for the anger that I expressed. I don’t blame myself for feelings that I might have but I do expect a little more control when it comes to how I manage these feelings.
Yesterday, I received a phone call from Silverback asking if I could provide my perspective on something that was said during the meeting the day before. He and my other partner had spoken just prior and the discussion became a bit heated from what I understand. He told me that he thinks that I may be the only one with a level head in this situation and without some type of agenda. He complimented me up and down and shared some personal challenges that he is facing. It is strange to be viewed as the level-headed one.
My point here is that I feel called to practice Christian virtue in this situation but to apply human logic and sense. And I believe that supplanting emotion with acceptance and surrender and, yes, even charity, is made possible only by grace. But I also realize that I can’t be naive and must be, to whatever degree I am capable, “clever as a fox.”
It is almost impossible to articulate all of the things that have been in a state of flux since the beginning of the year. Most of them are occurring internally and involve physical, emotional and spiritual components. The almost miraculous relief from my stomach problems, regaining my appetite, change in my sleep patterns, reduction in anxiety, greater confidence in prayer, etc. are all affirmations that I hold tight to. I also have a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation for the very slightest gift, even a plumbing adventure gone right instead of wrong.
It cannot be mere coincidence that these things occur as I proceed with the consecration preparation. At least I refuse to believe it is. It seems to me that when you are headed down the right path the Lord or his Blessed Mother will let you know that you are going the right way. I would expect nothing less. And I believe that I am being led and have been provided the grace to follow accordingly. Prayer by prayer, step by step, thought by thought, breath by breath.
Hey, Terry…just watch out he doesn’t have another agenda, like “divide and conquer”…keep your level head and don’t fall for it is that is what he’s up to. In any case, just continue being yourself.
Pia,
That is wise counsel and I have been thinking about that a lot. My feeling is that if some sort of civil discourse remains then we can move forward. As soon as we start communicating through lawyers exclusively then everybody loses. I’ll try the best I can and just go with my gut on when it is time to back away to avoid being manipulated.
As much as we all want to be good, Christian people, adhering to the precepts of our Catholic faith, so much of life comes right down to human relationships. And even though this is business, it involves human beings, egos and personalities. I can only do the best I can and trust that I will receive guidance in areas that are beyond me.
As you remain focused on the One through the Blessed Mother, during these days so precious to you, I am sure you will remain steadfast on your course without unnecessary fears of dilution or coercion. God bless you.